mini-reviews: the bell jar and one flew over the cuckoo’s nest

I’m not great at reading classics. There are some I remember from high school and just loathing (Their Eyes Were Watching GodThings Fall Apart) that I would definitely like to give a second chance. But there are some classics that weren’t in my school curriculum that I’ve always wanted to read, but have had trouble starting. Thank you, audiobooks! This year I’ve listened to a few, and these two complemented each other nicely.

I just finished Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar (read by Maggie Gyllenhaal) a couple days ago. I really wish I had read this in my late teens or early 20s—I think I would have been obsessed! It’s an eerie, affecting book especially knowing Plath’s life story and her suicide. The writing is beautiful but also unemotional, if that makes sense. I didn’t quite get “insane” from Esther, but her mental illness does come through from knowing hints in the beginning to growing paranoia and intense questioning of her own thoughts and actions by the end. The electroshock therapy scenes were horrifying. I was really moved by Plath’s use of being trapped in a bell jar to describe Esther’s mental state—the distorted view from the inside looking out. It’s obvious why this is a time-tested classic. [Listened to audiobook in Sept. 2017.]

Many years ago I “borrowed” my mom’s copy of Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and surprise! never got around to reading it. The audiobook version, though, read by Tom Parker, was fantastic and engaging. I saw the movie years ago but didn’t realize the book is told from the point of view of Chief Bromden. McMurphy is quite a character—he’s likable, obnoxious, and a troublemaker, but it’s a fight-the-power kind of trouble that I liked. Kesey’s no-nonsense writing makes you think more about societal roles, authority, mental health, and its healing and treatment practices in psychiatric institutions, at least during the 1950s and 60s. I’m still not sure if McMurphy really had a mental illness or not. This was a great, complex story that I’m glad I finally took the time to experience. [Listened to audiobook in March 2017.]

drawings

Over the last year I have been spending a lot of time getting back into drawing. I almost forgot how much I love it! I used to draw all the time when I was a kid, and even took a few classes in college (enough for a minor). But I chose to focus on music, and then when I was working full-time I ended up setting aside my drawing for a while.

A friend recently commissioned me for a drawing (can’t post, it’s a surprise gift for someone) and it was a real pleasure to create a beautiful piece of personal, original art for them to treasure forever. This experience has been wonderful! Here are a few of my recent pieces:

 

Please check out my new Drawings page on here for more. Thanks for looking 🙂

league of denial

Last summer, I listened to the excellent audiobook version of League of Denial by Mark Fainaru-Wada and Steve Fainaru. With football season upon us, I thought it would be a good time to take a look back at this one. Edited from Goodreads:

“Professional football players do not sustain frequent repetitive blows to the brain on a regular basis.”

So concluded the National Football League in a December 2005 scientific paper on concussions in America’s most popular sport. That judgment, implausible even to a casual fan, also contradicted the opinion of a growing cadre of neuroscientists who worked in vain to convince the NFL that it was facing a deadly new scourge: a chronic brain disease that was driving an alarming number of players—including some of the all-time greats—to madness.

League of Denial reveals how the NFL, over a period of nearly two decades, sought to cover up and deny mounting evidence of the connection between football and brain damage.

If you read my little slice of the internet here, you know I’m a rabid Green Bay Packers fan. My mother grew up in De Pere, in a house just a mile from Vince Lombardi’s house. Lombardi frequented my grandparents’ church. My grandparents went on dates to games. We have coveted, hard-to-get season tickets. As a fan, as someone who cares and is curious, I decided to read League of Denial. I already knew there are health consequences to playing contact sports, but I had no idea just how disturbingly deep the CTE controversy goes in the NFL.

League of Denial exposes the fraud of “safety” in football, from the physically violent way the game is played to attempting to solve the CTE issue with advances in helmet construction and technology, from medical teams to owners to the highest levels of administration. It was just like how Big Tobacco convinced everyone for the longest time that smoking cigarettes was safe. There’s no helmet that can keep the brain from experiencing trauma and damage inside the skull when a player is hit, whether it’s football, baseball, boxing, or anything else.

The amount of research and countless interviews that went into League of Denial is staggering. I know Brett Favre is concerned and vocal about his own future health regarding CTE, and the distressing experiences of football greats like Troy Aikman and Dan Marino in this book really bring home CTE’s seriousness, as well as the NFL’s denial and inaction. The most disquieting story, though, is the life and tragic downward spiral of four-time Super Bowl champion Mike Webster. He was from Wisconsin, where he grew up on a farm, rooted for the Packers, and was a center for the Badgers in college at UW-Madison. It’s a very typical Wisconsin upbringing that hits close to home for me.

This is a compulsively readable book. The only downside of the audio is I’m sure I missed out on a photo section on paper. I haven’t been able to denounce and boycott the game, primarily because the Packers are such a huge part of my homestate’s culture and my family’s bond and history. But I’m paying closer attention for sure to this issue and how the NFL handles it going forward. As a sports fan, and particularly a football fan—one with a conscious—I’m glad I read this informative book. It serves as a warning for exactly how more and more rampant CTE will become each year, and makes the reader question why we as a society are so obsessed with a sport that mimics war and glorifies violence.

Listened to audiobook in July 2016.

summer 2017 in wisconsin

I just finished a five-week visit back home to Wisconsin, and it may have been the best summer I’ve had… ever? I had more fun than a person should be allowed to have. I didn’t want it to end!
Early in the trip Nick and I spent a weekend in Chicago, where we had burgers at the metal-themed Kuma’s Corner with a cousin of mine and his girlfriend. After that, we stopped by Chicago Music Exchange to drool over all the amazing guitars, and later had cocktails at Reno where another cousin of mine works, to say hi to her. The next day, we brought our nephew to the Shedd Aquarium. He loved the sharks best! And of course we had to have Lou Malnati’s deep dish pizza while we were there. I also hung out in Chicago later, the day before I flew back to Singapore, visiting the American Writers Museum and Museum of Contemporary Art, which had an amazing Takashi Murakami exhibit, The Octopus Eats Its Own Leg.

It’s really, really hard to beat summer in Wisconsin, specifically Madison. I’m honestly not sure there’s anything better. (I realize I’m completely biased!) I don’t think I was bored for even one minute. I went for a hike around Devil’s Lake, something I haven’t done in years, as well as biked around Madison a lot, including the Monona Lake Loop twice. I played my own bass again; I missed it so much!! I spent a bunch of time on State Street and at the UW Memorial Union Terrace, went to the Dane County Farmer’s Markets and Concerts on the Square, and had a great time reconnecting with high school and best childhood friends. Not to mention enjoying all the Wisconsin food I’ve missed terribly—cheese curds, fish fry, dumplings and sauerkraut, ice cream, brats, the beer!! The gloriously cheap local craft beer. Sigh.

My dad retired the last day of June, and I was so happy to be there for him. His coworkers pulled out all the stops, throwing a big party and making special shirts, “baseball cards” with my dad’s “career stats,” a huge poster with all his signature workplace sayings, and a 10-minute farewell video that had my mother and me in tears. They gifted him a very nice new bike and two sunburst chairs you see at the UW Terrace. It’s just heartwarming to see someone you love so appreciated and loved by others.

Another highlight of my trip was framing and delivering three of my drawings to their new owners, my cousin, nephew, and niece. I’ll write another post about my drawings soon, but it was a pleasure to pick out a spot in my nephew’s bedroom for his transformer drawing, and my niece lit up when she saw the horse drawing, even “petting” it and giving it a kiss on the nose. D’aww. 

My best friend Lee and his husband Thomas came to see me in Madison, and they were a sight for sore eyes! We did all sorts of classic Madison stuff, including checking out the Madison Museum of Contemporary Art, having a boot at the Essen Haus, and making a little trip down to the New Glarus Brewery, which is something I’ve wanted to do forever!

Two of the best weekends I had back home were in Green Bay and Antigo, for my family reunions. In Green Bay, I went to the Packers Hall of Fame and took the Lambeau Field tour, which I had done before but the HoF was all updated and redone—it’s incredible. I could do a whole post alone on Lambeau Field. Also in Green Bay, I visited the farm one of my cousins manages, and of course went to my mom’s side’s family reunion. I talked to extended family I hadn’t met and/or seen in a long time, and some great stories were shared. I hadn’t been to this side’s reunion in several years (I always had a gig in Kansas City the same weekend) so it was wonderful to finally make it this time.

My dad’s side’s family reunion is held at my grandparents’ farm just north of Antigo, which is a small city in the north-central part of the state. My dad’s immediate family (my dad and mom, his siblings and their spouses, my cousin and her son, and me) went to the farm a couple days early to enjoy some “us together” time and prep for the reunion. We biked around the country roads, went berry picking, had a fish fry, went swimming at Jack Lake, and of course held our reunion. This year’s theme was Disco (for the adults) and Toy Story (for the kids). I wore my new “Disco Demolition Night” shirt and played two songs on guitar for the skit show, ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” and my own original “Back to Antigo,” which I sing every year now. People go all out with costumes, we crown a new “Potato Queen,” and sometimes roast a family member. We always finish up the festivities with a softball game, bonfire, and fireworks.

I really needed to see my family and feel like I’m at home where I belong after all these months abroad. I just felt awake and alive, and I got a vital dose of love and attention that I’d been craving. Singapore is nice and I’m happy for the adventure, but it can be a little lonely for me here sometimes; I’m not used to being apart from family for so long. And besides, there’s no place else on Earth quite like Wisconsin. I already can’t wait to return.

best albums of 2016

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This was another challenging year in many ways, but one indisputably good thing that happened was my renewed love of vinyl in late 2015. My husband and I discovered a new favorite store in Kansas City, Mills Record Company, where we quickly became regulars. I had my mother’s early-1970s Dual 1019 turntable in my bedroom through my teen years and I just loved it. I didn’t bring it to the dorms, of course, and didn’t think it would be smart or feasible to move it to any of my apartments. But last year I decided to hell with that, and I finally got my turntable set up in Kansas City. I’m sad it was so short lived—we had to bring it and all our records back to my folks’ house when we moved to Singapore. But this experience got me into listening again, really listening, and falling back in love with discovering new music. Here are my top 10 favorite albums released in 2016, in alphabetical order by artist:
kristin-best-albums-of-2016

• Lemonade … Beyoncé
My #1 anyway. A bold, experimental, aware, and emotionally raw masterpiece. I had this on repeat for weeks after I first got it. I’m still in awe of this album, its unabashed statements on race, women, society, culture, and more. The whole thing is just stunning and important on multiple levels.

• Are You Serious … Andrew Bird
My favorite since his debut, The Mysterious Production of Eggs. Less pretentious, more personal than most of his catalog. I loved seeing him perform live in Kansas City (April 21, The Midland).

• Blackstar … David Bowie
Dark, strange, haunting, bleak, brutal. It took me a few listens to fully appreciate this avant-garde art-pop album, with each track more unexpected than than the last. A beautiful magnum opus from a legend.

• Changes … Charles Bradley
There’s something warm and familiar about Bradley’s sound, no matter what he’s singing. The pain he emotes on Black Sabbath’s “Changes” twists your heart.

• You’re Dreaming … The Cactus Blossoms
A timeless alt-country sound by Minneapolis brothers. Their songs are clean, simple, and refined. Those harmonies! Sigh. They put on a great concert at Knuckleheads in Kansas City (June 11).

• Black America Again … Common
My favorite since Be. I love Common’s poetic, socially conscious way of commenting on the political landscape today, as well as themes of love, and social justice. It reminds me of Marvin Gaye’s What’s Going On in a lot of ways. I still get goosebumps when I hear “Letter to the Free.”

• Hardwired… To Self-Destruct … Metallica
It’s long, but this album is a fun composite of what people have loved about Metallica for the past 35 years. It’s not the “old” Metallica, but Hardwired feels like Metallica refreshed.

• A Sailor’s Guide to Earth … Sturgill Simpson
An ambitious country album with soul, psychedelia, southern rock, and more, Sailor’s Guide breaks free of any one genre label. It’s striking and memorable not only for that reason, but its intimacy and authenticity, too.

• Emily’s D+Evolution … Esperanza Spalding
This album blew me away the first time I heard it. Spalding blends jazz, folk, funk, and rock into this ambiguous style that’s wholly all her own. She’s been one of my favorite artists for a long time, and Emily’s is a prime display of her creativity and originality.

• The Suffers … The Suffers
This feel-good old-school R&B-meets-ska debut album is damn irresistible. Kam Franklin’s voice is one of the best and most soulful I’ve heard in years. There’s a lot of infectious joy on here. I can’t wait to hear more from this band.

Honorable Mentions:
The Last Hero … Alter Bridge
A Seat at the Table … Solange
Weezer (The White Album) … Weezer
Victorious … Wolfmother

There are a few albums I wanted to listen to in 2016, but haven’t had a chance yet: A Tribe Called Quest’s We Got it From Here… Thank You 4 Your Service, Bonnie Raitt’s Dig in Deep, Leonard Cohen’s You Want It Darker, Kendrick Lamar’s untitled unmastered., Angel Olsen’s My Woman, Nick Cave and the Bad Seed’s Skeleton Tree, Iggy Pop’s Post Pop Depression, and Frank Ocean’s Blonde. I’ll get to them!

I only have a vague inkling of what’s on tap for new releases in 2017, but the ones I’d be interested in hearing are those from Ani Difranco, The Roots, Justin Timberlake, Tool, Nine Inch Nails, St Vincent, Jay Z, and Zack de la Rocha (and more than that, I’m sure, once I know about them!). I hope I can hold on to this drive to discover new music, even without my turntable here in Singapore. For now I’m just getting excited to see Metallica perform here next weekend, and the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra Amsterdam right after that (playing Debussy and Bruckner 4), Then, in February, we’ll go to the Periphery and Guns N’ Roses (with Wolfmother) concerts!

best reads of 2016

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This year was a whirlwind for me. I honestly can’t believe that I finished the year having read 45 books, with an international move taking up a lot of time and energy most of the year. I originally set my reading goal to 60 books but lowered it to 45, and just ended up making that a week or so before the end of the year. I’m disappointed I lost the motivation to write posts for each and every book I read, which left with being so busy and preoccupied with the move. I was glad to get back to doing monthly recaps at least, which may be how it goes for the foreseeable future. Or not! I’m still deciding. I would actually love to catch up on each book individually on the blog here, but I’m not sure I have it in me to sit at the computer very much for blogging. I admittedly did enjoy letting go of the pressure to post, but I miss having the archive of my thoughts.

Here are the top ten books I read in 2016, in alphabetical order by author’s last name:

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• Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl
+++… Carrie Brownstein (2015)
• We Gon’ Be Alright: Notes on Race and Resegregation
+++… Jeff Chang (2016)
• Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City
+++… Matthew Desmond (2016)
• League of Denial
+++… Mark Fainaru-Wada, Steve Fainaru (2013)
• The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic
+++… Jessica Hopper (2015)
• I’m Just a Person
+++… Tig Notaro (2016)
• Station Eleven
+++… Emily St. John Mandel (2014)
• One of Us: Story of Anders Breivik and the Massacre in Norway
+++… Åsne Seierstad (2015)
• Mo’ Meta Blues: The World According to Questlove
+++… Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson and Ben Greenman (2013)
• The Fire This Time: A New Generation Talk About Race
+++… Jesmyn Ward, ed. (2016)

Honorable Mentions:
No god but God … Reza Aslan (2005)
Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman … Lindy West (2016)
Dead Mountain … Donnie Eichar (2013)
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee … Dee Brown (1970)
The Underground Girls of Kabul … Jenny Nordberg (2014)
The Argonauts … Maggie Nelson (2015)
Notorious RBG … Irin Carmon and Shana Knishnik (2015)
My Life on the Road … Gloria Steinem (2015)

761-1Only ONE fiction! Everything else (in both top ten and honorable mentions) are non-fiction books. There was some good fiction I read, but most of it just didn’t stick out to me this year much. To see my Goodreads “Year in Books” analysis, click here. But I kept my own stats which may be a little more accurate. By my count I ended up with:

• 45 books read total
• 7,598 pages read
• 170.93 hours of audiobooks
• 42.2% paper books, 42.2% audiobooks, 15.6% ebooks
• 57.8% non-fiction, 42.2% fiction
• 57.8% library borrows, 42.2% own books read
• 2010: average publishing year of books read
• 3.75 books read per month

I did track author genders, nationalities, and race… but I’m not sure it serves me and my reading much to share it here. I still feel sort of squicky about tracking those, although I am compelled to continue to keep an eye on them so I can make sure I’m continually seeking out books by authors of color, women, LGBTQ+, and authors from many parts of the world. All I know is I want to expand my worldview, learn, and empathize through books—I always have, but especially now more than ever.